One of the most important gifts you can leave to your surviving loved ones is thinking about your death ahead of time. Someone will need to figure out how to handle your affairs, and that someone should be you. With all the grief, stress, and paperwork that death demands, mapping out what needs to happen after you pass away will alleviate a significant burden.
Recent examples
Xa and I have handled the final affairs for two close family members in recent years. First, my father (I am the second of four), and later, her grandmother (for whom Xa is the only child of an only child).
My father died unexpectedly one evening of a heart attack. To his credit, he left a will. He had mentioned it a few times over the years, along with some peculiar desires for his funeral. We did not know where the will was located, but we found it towards the back of a desk drawer (a logical location) fairly easily. The will basically instructed me, as executor, to divide his estate equally among his four children, and repeated some of his desires for his funeral. Along with instructions to open the large safe in his garage, that was it. My youngest brother was able to get into his computer, and after several long days of going through emails, stacks of mail, and various physical files, I was able to construct a picture of the myriad bank, credit card, utilities, and other accounts he owned. I found out in the ensuing days that I had been listed as a co-signer on some (but not all) of his bank accounts. The home he had purchased almost two years earlier was not in a trust despite my suggestion. I had to open a probate case at the local courthouse to be formally named as executor so I could sell the house, pay his debts, file his taxes, close his accounts, and distribute the remainder. I cannot imagine how much more complicated, stressful, and costly this process would have been had I not been a tax expert who had been filing his taxes for well over a decade and an attorney with estate experience.
Xa’s grandmother passed away at home surrounded by family just shy of age 94 early last year. She was receiving hospice care towards the end so her death was not a surprise. She left a will naming her only daughter and granddaughter as beneficiaries, but she had already organized her assets. For instance, she had transferred title to her home to her daughter (Xa’s mother), added her to the bank accounts, and pre-planned and pre-paid for her funeral and burial several years prior. All we needed to do was make a few phone calls to close out her utilities accounts and contact a local real estate agent to sell the condo, which was a fairly easy process since Xa’s mother already held title to the property. The most difficult part was Xa and I, along with her parents, physically cleaning out the place, but even that was made easier because her grandmother was meticulous, tidy, and took excellent care of her home.
The planning ahead that Xa’s grandmother did was an act of love. As a professional worrier, she thought about it ahead of time so that we did not have to, and by doing so she was also able to ensure that we carried out her wishes. Not that my father did not care—he thought he was keeping it simple by leaving his estate to his children, and he likely thought (as did the rest of us) that he still had a long time to live, so it was never an urgent issue. Until it was.
What sort of instructions should I leave?
It probably goes without saying, but I will say it anyway: The first step is to have your affairs in order. This includes having a will, perhaps a trust, and designating beneficiaries on all your accounts. Other important documents include an advance medical directive, health care power of attorney, and more. Make sure that your chosen people know where to locate these documents and have a general idea of what is included. This avoids surprise and confusion. For example, both Xa and one of my brothers have copies of my estate planning documents, and vice versa. Contact me if you need assistance organizing your affairs!
But the next step—the “when-I-die” checklist—is the real focus of this article. This document is an important piece of the puzzle, and will greatly streamline the process of winding up your affairs. Should tragedy strike, Xa knows where to find my “when-I-die” checklist, and I keep it updated when information changes. It currently spans five pages. So what does it include?
Estate planning documents
Location of signed copies of documents and a very brief overview of how they work together.
Contact information for my primary care physician.
Body disposition instructions
Desired handling, along with contact information for entities involved.
Wake instructions
Includes budgeted costs and which account to use to fund.
Financial accounts
Location and contact information for all bank accounts. Because we use multiple high-yield savings accounts for specific goals, I included brief summaries where it was not obvious. (Xa already knows these, but if she was not around, someone else would need to know.)
Location and contact information for my health savings account. (I also listed the different options Xa will have available regarding this account and the tax implications of each. Call this step an occupational hazard.)
Location and contact information for brokerage accounts, including retirement accounts. Besides my Thrift Savings Plan remainder, all these are located at Vanguard, so this is pretty straight-forward. (For retirement accounts, I also listed options for use and associated tax implications.)
Life insurance
Information regarding the term life insurance policy I own on my brother.
Pensions
Contact information regarding my Nevada state pension and my years of service.
Contact information regarding my federal pension and my years of service.
Contact information for Social Security survivor benefits.
Property instructions
Instructions for updating the deed to our condo.
Contact information for updating utilities, Internet, and home insurance.
Contact information for updating the title to our vehicle.
Instructions regarding grave plots I own in Utah. (Eight of them are for sale! If you are interested in securing an individual or family plot in a beautiful location, please contact me.)
Credit cards
List of credit cards with contact information.
Miscellaneous
List of miscellaneous items and recurring charges, including contact information.
Examples include voter registration, Department of Motor Vehicles, and reminder to update Amazon Prime subscription.
Location of tax records
Business succession instructions
Professional licensing
List of professional licenses held, with contact information for death notification.
Your list will obviously vary from mine. Everyone is different, so add and subtract as necessary! But please include contact information. It is easier for you to locate this information now than it will be for someone else trying to figure it out after you are gone.
What does this accomplish?
Constructing this list, and keeping it updated, forces you to organize your financial and other affairs. This helps ensure that your survivors can find all your accounts, which becomes all the more pressing if you die unexpectedly. Even if you are in excellent health, you could get hit by a bus tomorrow. How tragic would it be if you had a considerable sum somewhere that went undetected? (Check out the unclaimed property registry for your state!)
But the real benefit of maintaining a “when-I-die” checklist is like having a recipe when cooking dinner rather than just making it up as you go along and hoping it turns out alright. Your loved ones have a roadmap of what needs to happen after your demise rather than figuring it out from scratch. Do it now while you still can.